Psalm 139
Oh Lord you have searched me and known me! You know me when I sit down and when I rise up, you discern my thoughts from afar.
Last night we talked about how we see God and how we talk to him. I find it hard most of the time to pray in conventional ways. I have nothing much to say. I am not good at begging and most always only ask for him to be present and to guide my thoughts, etc etc. It is all pretty boring. I like listening to God and feel that he speaks often. My response is often one of enjoyment or happiness and calm and peace. I don’t have a lot of trouble with the fact God has access to my thoughts. Sometime my thoughts are not the greatest but there is some comfort in that I cant hide them from him. I like contemplative prayer. I like the quiet and the creative thoughts that come out of it. I like formal written prayer because it seems to say the things I would say if I could think of them and I like the spaces they provide for my mind to go to God. When I pray I really am meditating or contemplating. That is one of the things that causes me concern with FCM in that it is noisy prayer and I am uncomfortable with it.
